Category Archives: Uncategorized

Content change.

This originally started as a showgirl page and as my life is shifting I find myself going in another direction then originally intended. Creativity is the primary goal of my life and thats where my goals are  flowing largely into issues of controversy and away from settled neutrality.

Accidental opportunity.

I was approached by a Vancouver Film School student to participate in a short film with a small part and was excited to see what a compact film production would be like to participate in. It was awesome, very intimate level of  interaction when the crew was so tight knit and it was not a big sprawling production. Very much a learning process heightened by the experience of having a “speaking” part without any speaking but instead sign language. I’ve never learned that as a necessity and so it was a challenge to learn very different communication to what is otherwise normal in everyday life. I was holding/working with a prop and had to remember to put it down in order to communicate vs the usual open the mouth and talk. Much respect to such a different mode of communication.

The dangers of repetition.

I feel like an idiot for repeating the same things over and over again but unfortunately the same business model problems are rampant and not being properly dealt with. Things are not progressing in a positive way and not enough is being done to respect the foundations of the erotic entertainment business, the performers and the audience that is the life blood of the industry. Opinions are not being asked and experience is not being sought. People are puzzled why business is stagnant and dropping yet nothing is being done to logically fix the problems or reverse the already severe damage to industry reputation, safety and respect.

Building maintenance and upkeep is not being observed and properly executed Canada wide and there is no impartial governing body ensuring safety and health standards across the board that needs to be done. Stage design needs to be standardized and physically examined at each location. If its not up to code it needs to be closed and fixed until it is made so. No more excuses, no more injuries and no more hiding behind contract bullshit that says performers do their jobs at their own risk. yes we do, we wear heels and do crazy pole tricks BUT if a stage is KNOWINGLY cobbled together in a dangerous manner then it shouldn’t be allowed to be used. If an aerial fixture is incorrectly put in and the performer is injured as a result, the bar should be held totally accountable for willful ignorance and fined accordingly to ensure standards are properly adhered to.

I love dancing but I swear to god I wonder why I’m not a lawyer. Or a bar owner. I’d be seriously scary as a bar owner and my place would be pissing money. The problem is its so simple to maintain good business. It takes investment to gain a return, rape only results in a sick feeling at the end of the day and lack of respect that keeps decreasing the more it is given out.

Mourning the loss of Sharkwater director Rob Stewart.

As humans we have the unfortunate hubris of believing ourselves immortal. Untouchable. Eternal. We forget that everything we do impacts others, our words and deeds, the simplicity of our actions that cross nations and cultures. The power of some transcends the actions of the majority and touches lives in ways unseen until paths shift and we learn more how to be.

Rob lived and breathed his love of the ocean, his work from the simplest still image to the movies he has done showed the respect and reverence he had in every frame. Many of us will never swim with sharks or dive into the sea like a rubber ducky in a bathtub but he did and because of his dedication he revealed the beauty of the oceans and the fallibility of human systems and our fluid place in the worlds cycle. Your questions, curiosity and research enlightened where knowledge was lacking, your learning is truly a vital gift.

I wish I could turn back time and that some miracle could have changed the outcome of your last dive. I wish you had stopped sooner and called it a day to continue the next day. But it wasn’t to be.

Your work lives on and inspires as you did in life, the quality and power will inspire all who see it. The power you created is the beauty of the oceans as you see them. In that you’ve touched millions with expressive spirit as you gave yours to create it. Swim free in the ocean you have always loved. You will be missed.

The business of business suicide.

Catchy title but I’m seeing this situation more and more of an issue in everything from cars to strip clubs and too many industries in between. The understanding of business is dissolving so fast thats its not even funny. From starved ground its expected to somehow sprout the garden of Eden. Its expected that a piece of paper gives blank authority to do everything one wants and have it guaranteed to be right. Experience and wise council is seen as antique and useless when those are the foundation built from  hard earned lessons already experienced.

Hook suspension vs rope bondage suspension.

I was first introduced to bondage and BDSM overall via the movie “The Cell” by Tarsem. Its a visual feast exploring some extreme hook suspension in a key scene, its an erotic taste not many openly explore and definitely hits a squick spot of extreme graphic quality that can be too much. I appreciate it from a visual sense but physically its never been my thing for multiple reasons. Both rope and hook suspension explore Zen trance through pain in very different ways.

Rope bondage originated from Japanese military usage to keep prisoners from any vague form of escape, it just accidentally happened to have a big kink factor to it that is both erotic and soothing. The only difference between the brutality of hard torture vs enjoyed sensuality is the choice of consent. That makes all the difference. And so the hard art evolved into current times and is renewed into another art form entirely.

Hook suspension is a wholly different art form, also respecting rules of consent, its much more tricky to get into then rope as its practice is far more specialized.


The value of silence.

Its funny and sad at the same time how we tend to feel guilty about having time off and having breathing space for ourselves. When i’m not working it takes me a bit of time to unwind and decompress, pretty much to re find my sense of humour, patience and more relaxed breathing. Its best done away from people and tends to work with lack of noise of most kinds, loud music being a daily staple in the exotic dance world along with endless chatter. A quiet mind better survives under pressure and stress.

Its ridiculous to feel like its essential to justify time off yet without it temper begins to flare, sarcasm begins to boil over and self censorship disappears. Its like a warning bell of what worse fallout can pop up. Physical and emotional endurance are vital things to remain in balance to stay functioning and sane in life and work. Theres no owners manual for life with the jobs we choose.

Sailor Moon

For some reason I’m eternally fascinated by Sailor Moon as a character and transformational being. She’s so iconic yet simple, elegant yet strong. Immediately recognizable in her early style yet more unknown in her later incarnations. It would be super interesting to try to create a transformational costume that encompassed her earlier power then morphed into her later strength.

Creative directing.

I’m finding my eye of creative freedom is definitely jumping into higher gear these days. Everything from still images to short film, things are getting more solid vs the more uncertain understanding of what was possible earlier in my career. Experience is a powerful teacher as is seeing and always studying different visual resources. The developing comfort in knowing what works and what doesn’t and being more sure of going with gut instinct and taking creative risk vs playing it safe. Its a fine line but ultimately it pays for itself long term. Frightening and expensive short term but guaranteed payoff long term.

Burlesque contests.

I have done several exotic showgirl contests over the last 2 years and have an interest in seeing what creative expression thats not stereotypical stripping in style can do. I come from the world of ballet and classic Hollywood films where more extreme showmanship is the name of the game. In stage performance I find myself as yet still relatively new to the full possibilities that are open to me. There seems to be more connection to circus then any other area of performance for me.

I’ve never competed exclusively for burlesque and so know nothing of any exact burlesque venues or long standing festivals besides ones like Vancouver and Edmonton that are relatively close to home. Visiting the Burlesque museums in Vegas would be amazing. Someday!